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Memory Lessons: A Doctor's Story, by Jerald Winakur
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"Jerald Winakur poignantly brings together his personal and professional lives in this healing work, a deeply humane and utterly forthright book of memories, lessons, and revelations."
--Edward Hirsch, author of Special Orders: Poems
"Memory Lessons is a beautifully written and moving book that is both personal and universal."
--Christine K. Cassel, M.D., president of the American Board of Internal Medicine
"A beautifully written account by a physician son describing his father's decline from Alzheimer's, Memory Lessons is a wise and lasting treatise about sickness and health, life and death, and the redeeming power of love."
--Abraham Verghese, author of My Own Country and The Tennis Partner
"Memory Lessons is a searing, heartbreaking, and beautifully written account of a physician's battle against Alzheimer's -- among aging patients in general, but more personally as the disease slowly steals Dr. Winakur's own father. Like all fine literature, this is finally a book about what it means to be human."
--Tim O'Brien
The story of becoming a doctor, and being a son.
Jerald Winakur is a doctor who cares for, and about, the elderly. Dedicated and compassionate, he's a surrogate son to many. And yet, all his years of service helping patients and their families adjust to the challenges of aging did not prepare him for becoming father to his own father, who had become as needy as any child.
In Memory Lessons--a tender and provocative book--Dr. Winakur writes about what it's like to be medical counselor to countless patients, while disclosing his personal heartbreak at watching his 86-year-old father descend into disability and dementia, his mother at his side. In both of these roles--highly skilled professional and loving son--he finds he is hard pressed to alter a course that devastates his dad and tears at his family. But he does what he can. A doctor who does his best to listen carefully to each patient in turn, who attempts to confront every problem with, as he says, "a reasonable fund of knowledge, a modicum of common sense, and a large dose of honesty," Dr. Winakur knows that there is much we can do by loving and listening.
We all search for answers; we all want to do the right thing for our parents, but few of us know what that right thing is. Faced with caring for a growing sea of elders, Dr. Winakur reflects on his thirty years in the medical profession to consider the very personal and immediate questions asked by families every day: What are we going to do with Dad? Who will care for him--and how? These are urgent questions, and they're faced head-on in Memory Lessons with unflinching honesty, hope, and, above all, love.
- Sales Rank: #218684 in Books
- Published on: 2008-12-30
- Released on: 2008-12-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.25" h x .0" w x 6.13" l, 1.20 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 304 pages
From Publishers Weekly
As a doctor of the oldest old, those patients over 85, San Antonio, Tex., geriatric physician Winakur cares for the fastest growing demographic segment of our society. He also had to usher his own aged father through the last painful, debilitating years of his life, when he slipped into dementia and became a stranger to himself and his family. In this affecting, thoughtfully composed memoir, Winakur remembers his father as he fully was, a gifted artist whose Depression-era mother would not allow him to go to art school. He was consigned to run the family's pawnshop in Baltimore until the race riots of 1968 destroyed the store and his livelihood. While the author describes his father as someone who seemed to get little enjoyment late in life, it was his father who instilled in his son a love of bird watching. As the author and his father achieve toward the end an intimate, fragile truce, Winakur recalls the long medical journey that brought him to devote himself to the aged, from medical school, where specialization was the rule, to his thriving practice as a local doctor. He touches on many pressing issues within the profession, such as the havoc wrought by managed care, the debate over quality care of the elderly, and whether prolonging life at any cost is wise. Probing and intelligent, Winakur's work challenges readers to think hard and deeply about the choices they make in the care of their elders. (Jan.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From Booklist
If geriatrician Winakur has the same way with patients as he has with words, his are very lucky patients, indeed. Expanding an essay for the journal Health Affairs that was picked up by the Washington Post, he touches the heart and the funny bone with the stories of his family’s struggles to cope with his father’s Alzheimer’s, and although he interjects tidbits about patients he’s worked with, this remains a very personal revelation. His recollections of exchanges he had with his father and witnessed between his parents throughout his life are by turns revealing, poignant, and funny. Moreover, in discussing his father’s progressive stages of dementia, Winakur doesn’t suppress the embarrassing admission, for a physician, that there were moments when even he felt at a loss about what was in his father’s best interest. For the more than two million of this country’s 85-plus population estimated to be suffering some cognitive impairment (a figure may quintuple in the next two decades) and their families, Winakur offers the comfort of a genuinely kindred spirit. --Donna Chavez
Review
"To say Memory Lessons is a beautifully written account by a physician son describing his father's decline from Alzheimer's, is only to begin to describe this haunting memoir. What Winakur gives us is a wise and lasting treatise about sickness and health, about life and death and the redemptive power of love--filial, parental and that of a physician for the practice of his craft. I can't think of a book quite like it or one that has affected me more."—Abraham Verghese, author of My Own Country and The Tennis Partner
"Jerald Winakur poignantly brings together his personal and professional lives in this healing work, a deeply humane and utterly forthright book of memories, lessons, and revelations."—Edward Hirsch, author of Special Orders: Poems
"Memory Lessons is a searing, heartbreaking, and beautifully written account of a physician's battle against Alzheimer's--among aging patients in general, but more personally as the disease slowly steals Dr. Winakur's own father. Like all fine literature, this is finally a book about what it means to be human."—Tim O'Brien
"Memory Lessons is a beautifully written and moving book that is both personal and universal. This son's story should touch everyone who has--or had--a father. This doctor's story should touch everyone who needs--or will need--a really good doctor. This powerful book offers a story for everyone."—Christine K. Cassel, M.D., President of the American Board of Internal Medicine
Most helpful customer reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
thoughtful memoir that covers a broad spectrum of emotions
By Carol C.
I was expecting something with a narrow medical focus, so the breadth of topics touched in this book was an unexpected surprise. This is a beautifully-written memoir about humanity, personal aging, caring for an aging parent, life's struggles and challenges, and the spectrum of emotions that come with those challenges.
Dr. Winakur puts much of himself into the writing -- he comes across as thoughtful, empathetic, caring, dang smart, idealistic -- exactly the kind of doctor you would want for yourself or your parents. His writing is lovely and very accessible to the layperson -- it never gets bogged down with technical terms, nor is there ever a "see how smart I am" overtone that occasionally taints books of this genre. Beautiful read.
One caveat -- the fine print. Literally. The font is smaller than I'm accustomed to might be a challenge for some readers (I'm just starting to wear readers, and generally don't have an issue with most books). Though my seventies-ish mother would love this book, I would be hesitant to share it with her for that reason. The content makes it worth struggling with the fine print, but I feel that it is worth mentioning. ing.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
thought provoking
By Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
This was a wonderful read. A story from a geriatric physician about his life and how he dealt with the age old question many of us will face, "What do we do about Dad?" As we grow older, so do our families and the roles start to change.
Not only was this an insightful story about caring for the elderly population but it was also an insightful story into the lives of the families and physicians who care for them.
The reader gets a sneak peak and some insight into our health care system, the tole's of being a doctor, and the stresses of being a caregiver.
This is a story, warmly written, about aging, death and dying, and how we chose to deal or not deal with it. A beautiful story about many of the lives the author cared for and the loses that are inevitable. May we all be as fortunate to have such a thoughtful and compassionate physician caring for us and our loved ones.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Doctors are human too
By M. Stewart
This is a wonderful book on so many levels. It is primarily a memoir of a doctor dealing with his father's descent into Alzheimer's disease. Along the way we learn of what is wrong with health care in America, the coming challenges, and some possible policy changes that could help. It also emphasizes the importance of talking to family members about their thoughts and wishes concerning end of life decisions early in life instead of too late.
This book is both heart-rending yet hopeful. It hit quite close to home to me, as my father is along the same path too. The author deftly weaves together birdwatching, pawn shops, family relationships, loss of memory, and the health care of the growing senior citizen population.
There are end-notes to support the quantitative information, and the author doesn't claim to provide any answers to how to solve the health care cost and quality problems, but he takes square aim at some causes such as "pay for procedure" mentality versus taking the time to spend 30 to 60 minutes getting a detailed health history for a patient. He notes that a ear-nose-throat doctor will be reimbursed much more for the "clean the wax out of the ears" procedure, that he will for spending time with a patient. The pharmacy industry also comes under fire for its sweetheart deal for Medicare drug coverage - the U.S. Government cannot try to negotiate for lower drug prices from the industry.
I was also shocked to hear that the committee that helps set Medicare reimbursements for various procedures is staffed primarily by physicial specialists that would stand to benefit by the current system. I wish I could send a copy of this book to all the government policy makers.
The book guides us through the history of end of life decisions, from the early 1970s when removing a respirator was considered murder, through the headline-grabbing stories such as Terri Schiavo, through today's philosophy of dieing with dignity. He illustrates this clearly through some of his patient's cases during those periods. And he acknowledges it is a tough decision, always, to determine whether it is best to go into the hospital for an operation, when the chances of getting an infection, or having deleriums, are so much higher for the oldest-old patients.
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